Yadda, Yadda, Yadda (story form)
by AlmostVicky
Summary: With a story told in merely text-messages between a Shadowhunter in training and a teenage Vampire, something is bound to go wrong... K for language and suggestive Malec themes...


So you might've (or might not have) read this same story on Maja (CharmingDuckDevil)'s account. Her version was only text messages so I made it more into a story-fanfic-thing.

We were bored one day and started role play-texting. Me as Simon, she as Clary. And it went off from there. Hope you'll enjoy!

* * *

Clary was in the shower when her phone vibrated. The paranoid type Jace Lightwood was, he picked it up. The screen showed a new text message from Clary's best friend Simon Lewis. A newly turned vampire.

Jace opened the message.

_Hi girlfriend! I mean like girl friend like a female friend like... you know what I mean! Promise you'd stop Jace if he decides to kill me..._

As Jace finished reading the text, another one popped up. Also from Simon.

_And Jace, if you're reading this, why the HELL are you reading Clary's texts?! Stalker warning!_

Jaced had decided, not to kill Simon, but to have some fun with him. Instantly he started writing back.

_I am not Jace._

Simple and easy. He tapped the "send buttom".

A little while later the phone vibrated once agian in his hands.

_But, secretly, you are._

By the angel, Jace thought, how could he know? Though, he kept writing.

_Why would I-em Jace want to look at Clary's texts?_

Simon answered.

_Lol, epic fail my friend. Bcuz you're a stalker/lover/brother (not that I'm not fine with that)_

Jace couldn't help but smile a devilish smile.

_AM NOT! Or ehh... Jace isn't a stalker/lover... Just a brother who wants the best for his sister! Yeah!_

At that moment, Clary walked out of the bathroom. Only dressed in a robe. Jace couldn't help but thinking what she might be wearing under it, if anything at all.

Her hair was in a sort of a towel-turban. She smiled at Jace, looked at the phone in his hands, and looked at Jace with death in her green eyes.

"What. Did. You. DO!" she screamed, leaping toward him and grasping the phone out of his hands. He let her, of course, but it kind of surprised me. "JACE LIGHTWOOD, WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"Nothing", Jace said, smiling.

"Of course you did something", Clary said. Checking the latest text from Simon.

She tapped quickly a message, probably explaining to Simon who he had been talking to. Jace was still sittning on the bed, enjoying himself.

Clary's phone vibrated in her hands and she looked down upon the answer Simon had given her. She looked up on Jace. Her face was a wall of fire. She looked like a lioness in the middle of her hunt. "Jace. Lightwood. I. Am. Sincerely. Going. To. Kill. You."

As she said this, she texted something to Simon, locked her phone and put it in her pocket then – in a matter of seconds – she had attacked Jace. Holding a clawing grip around his muscular arm, she dragged him out of the room and into another. This room had been "reserved" by Magnus and Alec, which was perfect as punishment.

Jace pretty much let her take him into the room, thinking that he'll probably figure out how to take himself the hell out of there on his own. He was wrong.

The door closed behind him and locked.

Clary leaned agianst it with a smile of triumph. She quickly opened her cell. Simon had writtena again.

_Tiger-Clary is back_! _I'm ready for the show_!

Clary answered with a traditional: _RAWR_! _Jace is down for the counting...You're next..._

Simon was laying on his bed smiling as a wonderful idea crossed his mind. He texted it to Clary: _Haha, you'll never win over my awesome vampire-spiderman-powers!_

His ding-dong text-signal was heard a few minutes later.

Clary's answer was: _Spiderman_? _Just cuz you can jump on walls and stuff..._

The tone was heard agian: _And I can still say RAWR._

Simon laughed out loud and texted her back: _Well can _you _jump on walls_? _I do not reckon you being Shadowhunter-trained._

He pressed the sent buttom.

Out in the kitchen he could hear the bagning and clinking of someone – probably his mother – in the kitchen. Why on earth would she be cooking in this hour? Simon thought. He shook his head as the phone in his hand lit up with a new message.

From Clary: _Well I'm still _born _with it, monkey-boy._

Simon wrote back: _So you think I'm all hairy and stuff_? _Well if you're into that kind of stuff, I won't mind. And btw, you should probably keep your phone away from Jace. For my safty, you know._

And about a minute later, there was an answer: _Sorry, tails and odd faces isn't really my thing. I'll be sure to lock Jace up next time._

Simon smiled from ear to ear and texted back what he thought was a fabulous answer: _You sure_? _You seem like that kind of girl. Oh well, maybe Izzy likes hairy vampires._

Ding-dong, new text: _Maybe you should try Maia, then she'll have a friend on the "hairy"-subject._


End file.
